Where you sit at a dinner party matters.

Where you sit at a dinner party matters.

We’ve all been invited to some form of a large dinner party. Whether it’s a meal at someone’s home or a restaurant, it can be daunting. Walking up to a 12-seater table and quickly deciding where to sit based on what seats are available and what seats are in the best spots. Subconsciously we know that some seats are better than others. So, here is a breakdown of large dining seat options and the responsibilities that come with them.

The head seats

These seats are at each end of the table and are usually reserved for hosts if they aren’t sitting in the center of the table. The head seats are great for those wanting to chat but aren’t wanting a lot of eyes on them. In these seats you are limited to one side of the table, so your conversation group is small. You can ask people on your right or left intimate questions and go deep into the conversation without worrying about involving the whole table. Waiters usually refer to the head seats for communication so be prepared to make key decisions for the group like what appetizers to order or how to split the bill.

The center seats

This is the golden spot for extroverts. The center seats are responsible for setting the tone and energy of the entire table. You’re equidistant from both ends of the table, making anyone and everyone viable for conversation. Your responsibility is to keep the conversations going and keep everyone entertained. You don’t have to do all the talking but everyone knows it’s your job to connect ideas and get conversations spinning in an interesting direction. Aside from the heavy responsibility of this role, this location is easy to get in and out of for restroom trips and has the best access to the chips and salsa or bread basket.

The side seats

The side seats make up the largest portion of the table. Most seats are side seats. Anyone sitting between the heads and the center is in a side seat. These seats are a mixed bag, but typically pretty safe for introverts and extraverts. The closer you get to the center the more conversation you’ll be expected to join, but for the most part, side seaters are fun for everyone. You have minimal responsibility for carrying conversations, you have access to people beside and across from you and it’s easy to get in and out of these seats. The downside to side seats is that they tend to get cliquey. People cling to those who will listen to them, so if the person to your right and left are each enthralled in a conversation with someone else, they’re not going to exit anytime soon, leaving you twiddling your thumbs or trying to have a conversation across the table. But overall, these seats are pretty painless for introverts and extroverts.

The corner spots

These are the random spots, typically at odd-shaped tables or in booth settings, where someone will inevitably be assigned the glorified crawlspace that is the corner. Whether it’s up against a wall or another table, these spots can be awkward for dining. But they are an introvert’s paradise. You can easily slip away into oblivion because people will forget you exist in this spot. You have 1 maybe 2 people in earshot so you’ll have no group conversations to carry. It might be tough to get up to use the restroom, but it’s a great spot for introverts or those coming with low energy.

Cheers to awkward silences.